Ever since the discovery of snow, people have marveled at the intricate beauty of each snowflake and the vast emptiness that brought it into being. However, the existence of snowmen has been, until now, unexplained. After burning through a $5 billion grant from the NOAA, scientists are now able to conclusively theorize that snowmen evolve from a single snowflake. According to the experts, one tiny snowflake will evolve over the period of 20-30 minutes into a full grown snowman. Scientists are unsure what triggers some snowflakes to evolve into snowmen, but have noticed it is most likely to happen when children are present.
But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (Title headline by @baberahamlincoln.)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Mom Sets Out Tip Jar For Thanksgiving Dinner @kirgol
Husband Contributes To Thanksgiving Preparations By Letting Wife Know The Forks Are On The Wrong Side Of The Plates @drconservativeprof
CNN Praises Biden For Moving War On Terror Closer To Home @dontslowtheearth
Crazy Grandpa Tells Stories About Black Friday Sales Only Being One Day A Year @middleaged_machinist
Trump Suggests Ukraine Peace Plan Start With '15 Days To Slow The Spread' @gfanson
New Yorkers Line Street For Annual Disruption Of Thanksgiving Parade By Pro Palestinian Protesters @carolyn1
Ariana Grande Overdoes It With Roasted Rice Cake And Baked Celery For Thanksgiving @ruthiej714
Leftists Who Label All Whites Racists Condemn Labeling All Afghans Threats @coachjoeconway
Federal Judges Waiting To Be The First To Overturn Trumps Voiding Of Auto-pen Documents @thebigfreeze
Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Coverage Ruined Once Again By Talking Celebrities @aussiemama
Bible Scholars Discover Joseph Went Through A Goth Phase @fishythepenguin
Thanksgiving Ruined After Vegan Relative Shows Up @baberahamlincoln
Xbox Burns Last Shred Of Brand Loyalty With Xbox Croc Controllers @yantelope
Biden's Entire Afghan Refugee Vetting Process Revealed To Be Question: Do You Like Ice Cream? @optimus_bardlederp
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Martha Stewart Recommends At Least One 10 Lb Turkey Per Each Hobbit Invited To Your Thanksgiving Dinner @fishythepenguin
PSA: Carrying A Broadsword Into The Grocery Store Will Clear The Aisles And Allow You To Shop In Peace @drconservativeprof
Biden-Appointed Judge Lets The Grinch Off For Stealing Christmas @lpathehuman
Alexander The Great Gives Up On Untangling Christmas Lights @lpathehuman
Dad Asks Santa For Video Game Console He'll Never Have Time To Play @skullcrazes
Grandma Wants You To Real Quickly Just Explain AI @the_laodicean_post
Scientists Conclude Snowmen Evolved From A Single Snowflake @baberahamlincoln
Man Searching For New Online Girlfriend After Learning She's A Nigerian Dude @skullcrazes
Man Goes Entire Life Without Dying @babylonjosh
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Female Crash Dummy Remembers Every Crash Test @hamnetwall55
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
P.S. Now check out our latest video 👇
