I really wasn't expecting Netflix to release the best Christmas movie of the year, but here we are:
Carry-On is a straightforward film with all the satisfying twists and turns that an action thriller should have.
[Warning: Mild Spoilers and synopsis ahead]
Taron Egerton (known for his role in the Kingsman films) plays a Los Angeles TSA agent named Ethan Kopek who has given up on any aspirations at the ripe old age of 30.
But when we first meet him and his girlfriend Nora, played by Sofia Carson of Disney's Descendants, we learn that they are expecting a baby. As any man knows, there's nothing quite like having kids that motivates you to get your butt off the couch and go and make something of yourself.
But Egerton's character is hesitant. He likes his no-strings-attached life. He thought he'd have more time to make something of himself. He followed his girlfriend to Los Angeles and got a job at LAX because she got a job at LAX. He applied once to the LAPD academy but stopped trying after one rejection. He hasn't gotten a promotion in three years. He arrives late to his shift. His manager tells him he doesn't deserve a raise.
Still, his girlfriend sees something great in him and refuses to give up on him. She encourages him as they arrive at the airport for their shifts, knowing that there's a knight that wants to slay the dragon somewhere inside of him.
After taking the initiative to work the TSA scanning machines, Egerton's Ethan Kopek quickly finds out that dragons are real and they aren't easy to slay.
The bad guy? Jason Bateman, who harnesses his inner Hans Gruber as a former-intelligence-agent-turned mercenary known only as "The Traveler."
Check out his villain skills in the opening scene of the film:
[Warning: PG-13 violence]
For those who don't know what Novichok is, here's a mild spoiler: It's a Soviet-era nerve gas.
I'm not going to tell you more, but suffice it to say, the stakes are high ... and Egerton's Ethan Kopek is NOT prepared for it.
(The dude isn't even ready to be a dad!)
In most Hollywood films, this would be a way for woke directors to show the failings of the white dude while the diverse girlbosses of color save the day.
But in this case, no.
There is no wokeness in the film.
There's two married gay dudes, but their gayness has nothing to do with the plot. There's no preaching about the LGBT/BLM religion.
There's also a black female detective (played by Danielle Deadwyler) who starts piecing together the mystery, but they don't make her the central hero. Her skin color and gender have nothing to do with the story at all and there's no underlying message about institutionalized racism in the police force (how refreshing!).
She's just a compelling character who is actually flawed (she nearly hits a fellow cop while texting and driving and struggles to deal with the situation at LAX as much as Kopek).
She's also involved in one of the best sequences of cinematography that I've seen in an action flick:
[Warning: Mild Spoilers here about some of the subplot]
In the same way, Sofia Carson's character is supportive, but she doesn't have all the answers (Kopek has to inform her that she can't drink coffee while pregnant, for example). Kopek also has to man up to protect her from the psycho killers - something most films for "modern audiences" have the woman do herself.
Instead of "girlboss saves the universe by fighting off 50 armed men with one fist while shaming the Patriarchy," we get a cat-and-mouse action flick about real, flawed people and their choices - and with humor, too!
Yes, there is a mildly crude joke about "TSA Bingo" and sex toys. Yes, there is blood and violence (though it is one of the LEAST graphic action movies I have seen in a decade - it really leans into the PG-13 category).
But the core of the movie is about a man who is torn out of his comfortable existence and has to decide if he wants to take the easy way out ... or become the knight to save the kingdom and the princess.
The tone of the movie is clearly trying to channel Die Hard, and the plot idea of people being blackmailed into committing crimes isn't new, but this movie combines those things in fun new ways.
Sure, Kopek is an unambitious, nervous dude when we first meet him. He's not exactly a battle-hardened John McClane.
But Kopek is clearly a McClane in the making, and Bateman's Traveler is as compelling as Alan Rickman's Gruber.
I won't spoil anything else, but this movie hits in all the right places and has you satisfactorily cheering at all the right parts. It's pure adrenaline with no wokeness, a hero's journey, a pro-life message, and an exposé of government swampiness.
Thirty years ago, that would have been a normal movie at the box office, but that's why it's special in 2024.
