Welp! Cuban refugee families who fled communism for a better life under evil capitalism have been forced to flee once again, this time from New York City. Once a beacon of hope and light to the world, NYC is now facing a rising tide of communism promising trouble to come for all who choose to stay in the Big Apple. It used to be that people could make it there, and then make it anywhere, but recent political winds are blowing anyone who wants to still 'make it' out, before the government takes it. Of course, the promise of everyone being equally poor is enticing to some, but the Cubans have been there and done that, so now they are increasingly heading for freedom in capitalist utopias like South Dakota. But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (title headline by @westland619)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
PBS Offers Congress A Free Tote Bag If It Restores Billions Of Dollars In Funding @dontslowtheearth
God Parts Highway So Woman Can Make Left Turn @kirgol
Abraham Asks CBS If They Will Cancel Colbert If Even Ten Late Show Viewers Can Be Found @lpathehuman
Moses Wanders The Land To Find A Colbert Fan @ponysoldier
Local Old Man Keeps Wandering Into White Buildings Claiming He Used To Work There @twoplus2ischicken
Chip Gaines Given New Carpenter Level To Keep Things Straight @ruthiej714
Due To Funding Cuts Sesame Street Turned Into A Tent City And Resorts To Eating Snuffleupagus @thebigfreeze
Citizen Is First In Line At Home Depot Checkout After Calling ICE Tip Line @drconservativeprof
Noah's Wife Skeptical That He "Needs" A Bigger Pickup Truck @pinballfan
Thief Sues 80 Year Old Judo Instructor For Broken Bones During Home Invasion Robbery @dorli
Obama Abruptly Retires From Politics To Spend More Time With Family In Kenya @priehle
Chuck Norris Returns From Feminist Protest With An Ironed Shirt And A Sandwich @slinky
Federal Judge Orders CBS To Reinstate Late Show With Stephen Colbert @aussiemama
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Cuban Refugees Living In New York City Forced To Flee Communism Again @westland619
Local Single Woman Ditches Dating Apps In Favor Of Looking Confused While Wandering Around Lowe's @skol
Musician Finally Able To Worship God Properly After Purchasing $5,000 Guitar @middleaged_machinist
Church Snooze Cam Immediate Hit @bbarton713
Poll Shows 69% Of Americans Believe Government Is Hiding Epstein List; Other 31% Are On The List @dontslowtheearth
Theologians Confirm The Damned Must Go Through TSA Before Entering Hell @batknight
Man Blessed With Spiritual Gift Of Carrying Heavy Stuff @davidjohnson
BONUS - One randomly selected headline:
Santa Now Claiming A 'Naughty List' Never Existed @westland619
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments!
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